Sunday, October 27, 2013

How often do you walk?

When people walk with me, the conversation often leads to the question of how much walking I do a day/week.  Honestly, the answer I give is "Some".  My standard formula is that I walk about 2-3 miles minimum, 3-4 days a week, but one of those days must be what I call a Hill Day.  One weekend day is devoted to what I call my Long Walk.  I make sure to rest two days per week.  Let's break down what all this means.

Two to three mile walks are just that.  If I do just 2 to 3 miles, I push my pace to my max and I incorporate jogging into these days.  Consider them speed days.  I also know that I am not a strong runner at this time.  The combination of walking and jogging is smart for me.  I have no guilt over how far I can jog verses walk.  I am trying, and doing better all the time.  

Hill days are routes that I take specifically so that I can work on going up and down hills.  One thing I have noticed is that I try to incorporate some inclines towards the end of my walks so that I can work on them at a tired state as well as while I am fresh.  These walks are usually in the 3-4 mile range, and usually mid pace.  I only dedicate one day a week as a hill day, but that does not mean that walks are always flat the rest of the time. 

My long walks are just as they sound, long.  They are always a minimum of 5 miles.  This past week I have done two long walks, a 7.5 mile on Sunday and an 8 mile on Tuesday.  Typically I only do one long walk per week.  When I first started walking, I kept my walks fairly flat.  Now that I am more accustomed to walking, I keep adding hills to my long walks to better prepare myself for what I will find at various races I will do in the future.  Long walks are also a time for me to work on pacing myself during the long distances.

A word on my work with my pacing and negative split.  This basically means that I walk the first half of my long walk at a slower pace than I walk my second half.  By doing this, I conserve energy to finish strong at the end.  I also do not burn out as quickly as I will not have used up most of my energy at the beginning by starting out too strongly.  Pacing also means that I won't go out strong doing a 12 minute mile to do the next mile at 27 minutes.  Clearly I did something wrong if that happens.   

During my first half marathon I learned a few things.  At Mile 5, bananas are a good boost of energy for me.  So are wild blackberries growing on the side of the road, but I don't have that luxury here at home.  At Mile 8 or 9, I also need a small boost.  From here, as long as I have consistent access to water or some electrolyte drink, I am good to go til the end.  During my long walks, I try to be prepared for these things.  I carry water with me, but typically do not need it until well into Mile 3 or 4.  I bring some sort of fruit and/or goo (the frosting flavored bathtub caulk I mentioned a few posts back) to give me a little boost.  Walking a half marathon at my weight burns an estimated 2,300 calories!  Taking in some calories during the walk helps a person keep going since the body can really only store so much energy before it starts burning other things, like muscle.   

Let it be known though that even on days I do not walk, or even on days that I do, I am still active.  I frequently bike to get places as I am really limited on income so gas is quite the luxury.  I will walk somewhere if I have the time to spend doing so and count that as my walk.  I was invited to join a friend at the gym today, so I swam, did weights, and the elliptical, all after doing a 5k this morning.  I get out with Chewy any help her practice whatever sport she is playing at the moment.  I am not so active that I never sit down, but I do like to get moving when possible.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Mommy Guilt

Parents frequently live with something called guilt.  This evil thought that runs through our head, frequently sabotaging any idea we have to do something for ourselves, all because of how it may take away from the children.  I live with mommy guilt on a daily basis.  How am I ruining Chewy's life by being a single parent?  Am I giving her a good enough childhood while living below the poverty level?  Is going to school really what is best for us when it takes away from her when I have homework?  Is all this walking I do helpful to Chewy?  And this isn't even all of it!  Don't get me started on the guilt I give myself for even just thinking about buying myself a pair of pants that actually fit when really, I should probably be doing something else with the money. 

A friend of mine recently applauded me for spending money on myself.  I paid for my registration for my half marathon in December.  It was a very difficult thing for me to do!  I can still tell you what other things I could have done with the money, and none of them would have been for my own personal desires, needs, or gain.  Actually, I could have bought myself pants that fit and that would have fit in all three of those ideas.  I could have cut a check for the same amount to my personal favorite charity and not thought twice about it.  But to spend that money on myself seemed over the top ridiculous!  My friend reminded me that people spend the same amount monthly on gym memberships, eating out, coffee, and other items; it was about time I did the same for myself.  And that is exactly it:  something for myself.

Many parents still deal with guilt, as I very clearly do.  Making time for yourself is hard!  I will be the first to admit that bedtime in my house is a blessing to me.  I give 110% to Chewy during the day.  When she is in bed, provided the house is still standing, she is not dying, and no fire is present, this is my time to wind down and nurture myself.  When Chewy is at school, this is my time to handle things that take away from her.  Chewy is 11 though, and this makes things much easier than when she was very young.  If only I could have figured out a few things when she was younger, like the fact that I am worth giving myself all the attention I give to others.

Walking is one of those things I give myself.  I have learned that I am a much better parent when I give myself this time.  Chewy is the all-around busy child.  Sports and Robotics are the two top activities she enjoys, which means the Mom Taxi is always going.  One thing I will say is that I do not stay at practices.  If needed I run errands but honestly, most of the time I walk.  I know I have 90 minutes of free time that I can spend sitting at practice not doing anything, or I can move a little and have what I call my meditative time.  Chewy and I come together at the end of practice and talk about our experiences while hurrying home to eat that dinner we both are needing our workouts.       

So to those wondering, how to I tell the parent guilt to go away and make time for me?  You just do, but you do what works for you.  I try to involve my daughter in doing things with me.  Chewy is my partner when doing 5k's and we only do the fun ones like Dirty Dash or Electric Run.  As part of my knee rehabilitation, I did water aerobics and Chewy joined me for that, too.  I do things for myself when she is busy with her own activity.  I really take advantage of the time when she is not at home for a few days.  Most of all, I really try to figure out how to nurture myself.  The more I make this a priority, the less guilt I feel!  I know that at the end of the day, I can give Chewy and the rest of the world a more productive me if I treat myself like I am worth it.

And in case you did not know:  YOU are worth it!  Go nurture yourself today.  It does not have to be anything huge.  Just make sure you do it just for you.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

I am not Trying to Lose Weight

It is no secret that I am on the heavy side.  Obese is what medical professionals call it.  Fat is what what media calls it.  Heavy, fluffy, chunky, whatever else you can come up with, kind or not, there is always some sort of descriptor available for the extra padding that helps me float in water and the shape it gives my body.  But I have a secret...

I am not trying to lose weight!

GASP! What?  How can I like myself and be big?  Reality is, and this is something I still struggle with:  My self worth is not dependent on what the scale reads.  I am not claiming to be healthy.  I am not claiming anything.  I am simply saying that I am worth so much more than the number on the scale, or the size of pants I wear. 

I was thin at one point.  Actually, my pants size said I was thin at a size 5.  The scale said I was heavy and could stand to lose weight at 150lbs and 5'6".  I was happy, healthy, active, and had some wonderful muscle mass.  Then my health took a downward spiral.  Prednisone, that horrible steroid given for a multitude of reasons entered my system and 30lbs came on over night.  Pregnancy shortly after getting off prednisone, and who knows how many pounds I gained, but I do know I weighed 222lbs the day I gave birth.  Depression, hormonal issues including PCOS, 8 surgeries that include a hysterectomy, gall bladder removal, and two knee surgeries, and my weight continued to fluctuate.  I went up to 260lbs at my heaviest, and down to 205lbs at my lightest.  Today, I weight 223lbs.

The question I suspect you are asking is, "So if you don't want to lose weight, why do you walk so much?"  It is not that I do not want to lose weight, it is that I am not trying.  What happens happens, and I am happy.  I have lost some weight.  This spring I was up to 250lbs, but before you think it was walking that had me lose all this weight, let me correct you.  I have an allergy to dairy.  I finally pulled my head out of the sand and removed all dairy from my diet.  I lost 20lbs almost instantly.  The rest of the weight loss might be from walking.  I do know I have lost several inches around my body.  My pants no longer fit.  My breasts are large but look larger because my belly is shrinking.  My legs are more toned.  I fit into some clothes that I never imagined I would.  I am still not aiming to lose weight.  I am aiming to be active.  I enjoy walking, and the challenge of walking such long distances.  And most of all, I am walking because I can.  I have been temporarily disabled.  I have been stripped of the ability to walk, and even just bend my knee.  Someday, I will need to have a knee replacement.  Until then, I am going to enjoy my life in an activity that brings me joy, is not harmful to myself or others, is legal, and is healthy! 

Some days I am feeling self depreciating.  But I am trying to remind myself of a text I received after my first half marathon.  I had texted a friend to tell her I was alive and completed the course. 

Me:  "This fat girl did it!"
Friend: "Don't you mean FIT girl!"

This friend reminds me that I am not allowed to self depreciate, but instead, I must remember my obstacles I have overcome to get to the point where I am today.  I think everyone should remember that when they think about themselves. 

My 1st Half Marathon, Recap with Pictures


The day was Monday September 2nd, 2013.  Labor Day in the United States.  At 8:30am, the little red car pulled into Marymoor Park in Redmond, WA for The Labor Day Half and 4 Mile Run/Walk.  Temperature was mild in the upper 60's, but it was certain to heat up to the estimated mid 70's.  Over 1300 people were lining up, stretching, and other last minute pre-race business.  In this group was me:  a little nervous, very excited, and secretly thinking, "Am I really doing this?".


The gun went off at 9am sharp!  Most of this group went running past me, but I was not bothered.  One foot in front of the other.  That was all I really had to do.  My plan was to just keep walking because I knew that the moment I stopped, I would be done.  If you want a small idea of what was going through my head, think Dory from Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming...", but I changed the words to 'Just keep walking', with Dory still singing it. 

Mile 1 was hard, but this is something I always say.  My first mile of anything is always hard.  I call it my warm up, shaking off cobwebs, that sort of thing.  With Mile 1 a thing of the past, I can pick up and go like this is the real start.  Just as we were about to hit Mile 2, there was the turn off for the 4 mile route.  I could have turned there.  Most other people walking around me did turn there.  But no, I kept going forward!  I did not come all this way to chicken out at the last minute.  Mile 3 was also easy.  Remember, I had done a few 5k's over the summer, so walking 3 miles should be easy by now.  Mile 4, still no problem.  And then just before mile 5, I had a boost of confidence by seeing this drive by...
I knew I was doing okay for the simple fact that I was not in the back of the ambulance. 



I keep saying that I was doing great, and this picture proves that. Somewhere in Mile 5, this picture was taken.  I look so smiley and fresh.  Now, remember that post where I said I was an idiot?  Look at the picture again and check out those great sandals I am wearing.  They are also the same sandals I was wearing when I was climbing the slippery rocks to get to the waters of Puget Sound just 2 years prior.  I destroyed my 10 year old tennis shoes at Dirty Dash 6 weeks before the half marathon.  I hadn't gotten around to buying myself new shoes, so I wore my Keens.  Trust me, my Keens are my favorite sandal ever for active adventures.  They also hold up very well for all the abuse I put them through.  That includes the frequent swims the sandals do in the washing machine. 


Mile 6 was nice as I got to see a new side of Redmond, or really wherever in Washington I was at the moment.  In the Seattle area, one typically sees so much city life:  tall skyscrapers, Starbucks, cars galore, traffic jams, pedestrians, taxis, tourist stuff, and another 400 or so Starbucks.  I was seeing farm land!  A grass farm to be exact.  This was my first realization that I had walked a long ways and was still going.  Insert banana for some energy, a bit of water and Nuun for hydration, and away I went!

Mile 7 was a great moment for me.  First of all, the route started to head south which means back towards the starting/finish line.  Secondly, I was more than halfway done!  Third, I was alive, more than halfway done, still walking, and that ambulance from Mile 4 did not have me as a passenger!  But this is also where things got HOT and HUMID!  Walking along the Lake Sammamish Trail was beautiful.  The water running along side me was tempting to jump in or float down as I saw many other people doing.  The heat of the day was blaring down on me.  Estimated mid 70's whatever!  It was mid 80's!  Marsh land makes for horrid humidity!  Mix the two together, garnish with a potential half marathoner, and you have one nasty mix that can cause heat exhaustion and heat stroke.  Being from the hot part of the state was actually in my favor.  I can walk in this heat.  Sadly I saw some people where the heat took them down.

Mile 8 was hot.  Nothing notable other than the goo.  Goo?  What is this you are referring to?  Goo is the gel packet stuff that runners and other distance athletes often consume to give them a shot of energy.  Some of these taste like crap in my opinion.  Sugary, salty, a bit of caffeine (there are some without which is my preference), and a texture of what I imagine caulking for your bathtub would be like if it were on your tongue.  I would not be purchasing it to spread on toast, but it does serve its purpose when needed.  Clif makes a Vanilla flavored goo that I would say was decent.  Sort of like vanilla frosting but without the overly sweet after taste.  I am on a quest to find a more natural goo that contains real ingredients but is still non-caffeinated.  If anyone has suggestions, please let me know! 

Miles 9 and 10...oh how I loathed you!  This was the point where I started to really wonder, "Are we there yet?"  These were the longest miles ever, even longer than the first mile.  Just before Mile 11, I saw a ray of light:  these fish...    


I saw this piece of art back in Mile 3 and remembered liking them.  Seeing them now reminded me how close I was to the end.  I can do this!  At this point, The Wall, as frequently mentioned by seasoned marathoners, crumbled away!  I was going to finish this race.  Just keep walking!

 


And here I am, still walking, in the middle of Mile 11.  Yes, it was hot, and no, there was barely any shade.  I kept going.  Nothing was going to stop me now.  I was too close!  I could feel the weight of the medal around my neck that I would earn in just a short walk.  At this point, if I had suffered an injury or heat exhaustion, I would still roll the rest of the way through the race just to finish!  Luckily, it was my own two feet that carried me the rest of the way.


I DID IT!  Done!  Medal earned.  Bragging rights earned.  Self confidence through the roof!  I was so incredibly proud of myself for completing the half marathon.  I didn't run.  I didn't have some stellar record breaking time.  But at the end of the day I can say, "I am a half marathoner."

And now, let's talk about my Keens again.  Two year old sandals, half a size too big, worn near daily, and still, I came out with only ONE blister after walking 13.1 miles in them.  I swear that I do not work for Keen, nor do I get any money or product for mentioning them here, but I really do love my sandals!  I still wear them several times a week, and this includes training walks that I am doing for my next half marathon.  For the record, I do own tennis shoes now which I have broken in and will wear next time.











Saturday, October 19, 2013

Why would anyone walk or run 13.1 miles?

The question I have gotten many times since I did my first half marathon in September is, "Why would anyone walk or run 13.1 miles?"  I cannot answer for anyone else, but I can give you my answer:

It's FUN!  While that really is a big part of the answer for me, there is so much more to it as well.  For starters, doing a half marathon was a way for me to reclaim my mobility.  As you saw in the previous post, I had knee surgery in March 2011.  I will spare you the gory details but am willing to talk about it to anyone who asks.  This also includes sharing a picture of all the staples that made the zipper on my leg.

Meet knee hardware.  It is not pretty.



When you have a broken bone in your leg, especially your tibia (the bigger of the two bones in your lower leg), the doctors will ask that you be non-weight baring.  I willingly requested my leg to be broken (that is how the surgery is done).  For 2 months I was in a brace from the top of my thigh to the bottom of my ankle, locked completely straight the entire time.  I even had to sleep in this contraption.  The only times I could take the brace off were when I showered and during physical therapy (PT).  During PT, I was able to bend my knee with assistance only.  Two long months of 3 times a week physical therapy, with two days of that in the pool, but by mid-May, I took my first steps.  Relearning how to walk was difficult at first.  Those muscles were so weak from not being truly used.  The pain where those screws are in my bone was excruciating.  But I was persistent.  I wanted to walk.  I NEEDED to walk.  I knew that running would not be something I could try for at least 6 months, and really, I was perfectly fine with that.  I just wanted to be functional again.  I wanted to walk, step off a curb, climb stairs, stand in the shower, and be fully functional on my own accord. 

Then on vacation in August 2011, I realized just how far I had come!  This is the Puget Sound in the background.  I wanted down by the water, and to get there I needed to climb over several rocks.  I don't know how many as it was a good drop from the sidewalk to the water level, and all that was there were rocks to navigate.

If you had told me in March of that same year that I would be navigating slippery rocks by the end of summer, I would have laughed in your face.  Here I was though!  Minimal pain, and even the fatigue wasn't getting me down, unless I was pushing it too far.  It was at this time, I figured why not try a half marathon.  Walking was already a major mode of transportation for me.  I set a goal for the end of May 2012 to do one local to me.  Truth be told, I started training, but life got in the way, I got a bit very lazy, and just quit. 

Fast forward to August 2013...
I went out to lunch with an old friend.  She had always been one to push and motivate me, but I had no idea that the same effect would be there 18 years later.  We talked about different things we were up to, and she mentioned that she had been doing half marathons.  I explained how after surgery I wanted to do one, and still do, just never got off my butt and did it.  She said that there was one coming in two weeks and I should do it.  I laughed her off.  I had done three 5ks during the summer, but 3 miles is not the same as 13.1.  We continued lunch, but she told me to think on it.  She also mentioned that if I really did want to do one in the future, she was offering to do it with me.  

The following weekend we ended up meeting for dinner.  The topic of the half marathon came up again, but now, the one she was suggesting was a week away.  This time, I was slightly receptive to the idea of trying this the following weekend.  I also had made a personal promise that on December 1st, 2013, I would be doing a half marathon.  Dinner ended and I committed myself, and to her, that I would be ready for December.  But by mid-week, I made the decision that I was going to try for the half marathon that weekend.  What did I have to lose?  No one said it had to be pretty.  No one said I was trying to win.  No one said I had to actually run or even jog.  And this could be called my base line:  my first half marathon and with zero training*. 

*Disclaimer:  I am an idiot!  I am also one of those who likes to go big or not at all.  Do not ever attempt a long endurance race, even if you are just walking, without proper training, and this includes nutrition and hydration.  I am not a professional, but I can use common sense to say that this is a potentially bad idea.

So who am I?

I know, here you are, reading yet another blog written by some faceless internet writer who thinks they have a story to share.  Maybe you actually know me in real life.  Maybe you got here because you saw a link.  Regardless, thank you for stopping by!  Now let me introduce myself.

My name is Darlene.  While my name means "darling" in Old English, I am more fiery and passionate, with a tendency to speak my mind.  I am a single mom to a daughter who is my pride and joy:  11 years old, active in sports, music, and robotics, loves animals, and really will go farther than I can even begin to imagine.  I will refer to her in this blog as Chewy as this was a nickname given to her from one of her sport's teams.  As for me, I am in my mid 30's, struggling to go back to school to finish my bachelor's degrees, and lover of sports, food, and travel.  I have experienced some major health issues in my life that affect me today, but I will not let them slow me down.  With that, lets talk the dirty stuff...

This is me at 18 years old.  Thin, 150lbs to be exact, but with this crazy idea that I was the biggest thing to ever walk the earth.  


And here I am again, but at 31 years old, 260lbs, and just out of surgery to reconstruct my knee.  This is me at my biggest, and well, I look like crap too, but really, who doesn't after surgery. 


Here I am on September 2nd, 2013, at 33 years old, 235lbs, and with a half marathon finisher medal around my neck.  That is my best friend next to me who also did the race.  This was my first half marathon, of many more to come. 


I know what you are saying, WHAT?  Half Marathon!  You mean, 13 miles, and SHE did that?!?  Well, actually, it is 13.1 miles because let me tell you, that .1 of a mile so counts, especially at the end of race.  And yes, I really did do it!  To top it off, I am also doing another one in December, and if all goes as desired, I am hoping to do one in March 2014 as a birthday present to myself.

Now that you know a little bit about me and I am no longer another faceless internet blogger, let's get on with talking about how I ended up doing a half marathon...

Friday, October 18, 2013

Welcome

Welcome to this blog as I chronicle my adventures into walking and jogging.  I will start off by saying a few things: 

1.)  I am not a medical professional, nor am I a certified trainer.  I will not give advice outside of the realm of my own expertise, which is nothing.  I am full of encouragement though, and willing to listen.

2.)  This is my experience which is unique to me.  I will share pictures, triumphs, and losses.  I am also very open book, so willing to answer most any question put out there. 

3.)  I do my best, but sometimes, I let off a good F-bomb.

4.)  I am not thin as you will see in future posts that will include pictures.  I am not some super healthy person.  I definitely do not eat right.  I am not even out to be losing weight.  I am out to be active, which for me means walking and a bit of jogging to my level of enjoyment.

5.)  And this is my only real advice I give people:  Who cares how slow you are!  If you are up and going, you are already doing more than you were yesterday.  Put one step in front of the other, and just do it.  A walk around the block is much better than that full pint of ice cream in your freezer.  Well, that is until you get home from the walk ;)