Profiling Sucks!

I am sure most people have heard of racial profiling.  Some of you, myself included, have been profiled due to our minority status.  I cannot stand racial profiling!  I know that people judge me all the time, but I wish it had more to do for my abilities rather than my presumed abilities because of my skin tone.  This week I was profiled, not because of my skin tone, but more my lack of presumed athletic ability.

I am on a quest to find a goo that is tolerable, made of real ingredients that I can pronounce and are not created in some chemistry lab.  I had asked someone I knew several months ago about such a product, and he told me about one he uses, but I forgot what it was.  I was in a natural supplements store and figured that they might be helpful in this department.  I explained to the staff that I participated in endurance races, and what I was looking for.  The staff looked at me and explained that they had some products, but I would not need endurance gels as those are only for people who do half marathons and more.  Since I am only doing short races, I should worry about my electrolytes.  I tried to explain more and more that I was interested in the endurance gels, and that I was a half marathoner and had another race coming up soon.  I really was interested in the gels and wanted to know where they were.  Where was I led?  To the electrolyte drink mixes, which I had already explained I was not interested in.  I ended up finding the gels on my own, with the staff again reminding me that those were of no use to me since they are for people who do long distances. 

I don't have the body of someone you would expect to be athletic.  But I have a body, and I know how to make it move, and I DO!  Needless to say, I did not buy anything gel related at this store.  I am sure there are other places where I can have my needs met and be respected as a person. 

This is not my only experience in the land of profiling.  I strongly dislike going to one of the running stores in my home town because of the same treatment.  In fact, I typically shop at a local store in Seattle, WA for my needs as they see me as a human and treat me as such.  I have enough doubts and insecurities on my own.  But I am up, moving, and going!  Catch me if you can :)

71 days til Phoenix!

Next Stop: PHOENIX

Happy Holidays...to me!  It is now official.  Half Marathon #3 will be on March 1st, 2014 in sunny, desert like, Phoenix, Arizona!  I registered for the race today.  I have already begun training as well.  I am needing to change up my training schedule some as I am recently employed.  Those glorious long walks I did on Sundays now need to move to a different day as I work long hours on Sundays and Mondays.  I will start setting goals regarding my next race soon, but one is that I complete the race with at least some improvement from Seattle.  I know that realistically, I will not be shaving another hour off of my time.  I would love it if I could do the race in under 4 hours though.  This will be different for me though.  While Seattle is typically 10 degrees warmer in the winter than my home town, Phoenix will be a roasting 30 degrees warmer, or more! 

I really am feeling like a half marathoner now.  Doing the first one entered me into that exclusive club, but it didn't seem like I was one.  With a second race under my belt, and having done training and such for it, I feel as if I have earned my place in the group a bit more.  Registering to do a third race, and looking into future options makes it all seem more official now.  I am a half marathoner!  This is my niche.  I have found some random activity that I enjoy, excel at, and can continue to do.  It is healthy, and does not negatively impact my family.  And other than race fees, it is a relatively in expensive sport.   

73 days until Phoenix! 

$200 away from Airfare and Hotel Accommodations being covered for the trip!  Want to help out with that?  Go visit:  Happy Birthday Half Marathon.

Below Freezing Temps Means: NO WALKING

It has been 10 days since the half marathon.  I felt great last week.  I went out walking around downtown Seattle the day of and the day after the race feeling wonderful and re-energized, then I came back to Eastern Washington...

OMG!  Frozen tundra of horrible Arctic temps!  The moment I got off the bus, I knew I wasn't in Kansas anymore.  My nostrils instantly froze.  The wind went through me, piercing with bitter coldness.  The layers I was wearing were proving to be the equivalent of a wet sheet.  Watching news reports showed highs in the single digits, and this was before the negative temps were mentioned thanks to the wind chill factor.  I took this as a sign from the universe:  "Darlene, this is your rest week following your race.  And because you are stubborn, we made the weather so horrible that you really would listen."

Today is a very warm 28F.  You know it has been so cold that 28F seems toasty, and I am only wearing a tshirt and hoodie, no coat, while outside and am staying warm.  So what does this mean?  It means I get to start walking again.  Time to break in the new tennis shoes I bought.  Time to work on my speed and endurance some more.  Time to get myself ready for Phoenix!  One way or another, I am going to Phoenix for the half marathon on March 1st.  Especially now that the entry fee is covered thanks to donations I have received on my fundraising page at Go Fund Me.  Next fundraising goal is to get enough for airfare, which is going down more and more from the original $450 I found in October, to $350 that I found this week.  Let's do this!!!

Next Race, or Birthday Gift to Me

I had started thinking about my third half marathon about 6 weeks before I had even completed my second.  You see, I really love the number 3.  I like to do things in 3's.  Chewy knows that if I say "pick a number", she is wise to choose 3.  I was born in the third month.  Three is just fun to say.  With that in mind, I must do a third half marathon.  Then I started thinking...

I am 33 years old.  I have done two half marathons with 3 months between them.  It would be 3 months until my birthday following the second half marathon.  And why not give myself a birthday present such as another race.  We have established that I live in a cold part of Washington state.  Not much is being run over here, except for snowblowers during this time of the year.  I started researching races in February and March 2014, and one race stood out:  The Phoenix Marathon and Half Marathon on March 1st.  This is one week before my birthday.  It is in an area with decent weather.  It has the potential to be a great course.  The race will keep me motivated to keep walking during the frozen months of winter.  This is the perfect birthday gift to myself! 

I recognize that I lack the finances to travel the country to race.  I also fully admit that my pace is not exactly something to brag about while looking for corporate sponsors to fund my racing.  What I do have is heart, dedication, and desire.  Oh, and I have a Go Fund Me page where I am hoping that I can raise some of the money to help fund this gift to myself.  I am piecing the dollars together, and finding the cheapest options as possible.  I know I can do this, and can't wait to make it reality.

If you are curious about my fundraising page, please feel free to visit:
Happy Birthday Half Marathon

Thank you!

 

Seattle Half Marathon is Mine!

I am a rock star!  Well, not really...But I am a half marathoner for a second time today and that is much more interesting.  What an amazing adventure!  I have so much to share about the race, so many comparisons to make, new things I learned about myself, and lessons for future races. 

The time was 7:30 am and I was being dropped off at the race start.  I was officially there, ready, and amped!  I had spent the evening at a friend of mine's home.  She made a pre-race breakfast of boiled eggs, which let me just say, were the perfect pre-race meal.  Straight shot of protein, but light and bland which made for easy digestion.  In my fanny pack, I carried a banana, a couple packs of goo (the flavored bathtub caulk), dried fruit, and some random necessities like my phone and camera.

7:45am was the race start for the half marathon walkers.  The marathon walkers and half marathon runners had already left.  The marathon runners were leaving 30 minutes after us.  It was time to shine.  I had trained and was ready to just do my best.  I started my race with a fast pace, so much so that I slowed myself down as I was worried about losing my stamina towards the end.  Walking through downtown Seattle was nice as it gave me good perspective of where things were in relation to other places I frequent while here.  At Mile 2, the first water station appeared.  Remembering that I had cramped during the first half marathon, I made it a point to take one cup of electrolyte drink at every station, regardless of if I was thirsty or not.  At this water station, I did receive hugs from some teens which I found to be very nice and quite the boost.

It was during Mile 2 that we began our journey on I-90 express lanes.  This was exciting!  Cars zipping past us.  Horns honking in praise.  Marathon runners coming through so fast, yet so silent.  And lots of spectators.  I love spectators!  I realized during this race that any future races I do should be larger races as they tend to have more people cheering on the sidelines.  I am very much a people person, so this feeds me in a wonderful way.  The idea of going down the freeway was also exciting.  It is not everyday that you are allowed to go down the freeway by foot without a gas can in tow.  Across different parts of the city, and into the tunnels we went.  Thousands of people making this their route for a few miles.  

 

The half marathoners are led off the freeway much earlier than the full marathoners.  And once again I am receiving hugs, but this time from a guy in a robot costume.  I love people!  Walking along the west side of Lake Washington, my phone went off.  It was the race officials sending me an update on my time.  This was my first realization that I was going a decent pace.  My main goal was to do this race in under 5 hours.  Beyond that, I was not worried about time.  I knew I was on track for a 4 hours and 30 minute walk, if not quicker.  I keep going strong.  Around Mile 5 or 6, I ate my banana and enjoyed another cup of electrolyte drink.  Now I get to the real eye opener moment:  The halfway point, and another text from race officials.  My pace was now putting me at completing at 4 hours and 7 minutes!  I was on a mission to keep my pace going, I was going to make it under 5 hours.  And in my mind, I was going to go for keeping it at 4:30 at the slowest.


Go, Darlene, Go!  This was the constant mantra going through my mind.  I can do this!  I have this.  As the Seattle Marathon website had been saying, "This is your year".  Miles kept flying by, and no wall was being hit.  I was on it!  Saying that I felt good is an understatement.  And then I hit Mile 11.  I looked at my phone for the time and realized, not only could I finish under 5 hours, but finishing under 4 hours was actually potentially possible.  WHAT!  I knew I was rocking it, but WOW!  I had a mission, I was going to try my hardest to get under four hours.  Mile 12 told me different though...

I was wearing my walking shoes this race.  You know, the ones I said were too big a couple weeks ago.  Well, I now know how too big these things are.  As tight as I laced them up, my feet were still swimming in the shoes and the dreaded blisters were forming.  One GIANT blister on the bottom on my left foot.  Another one of similar caliber forming on the bottom of my right foot.  Add a couple to the backs of my heels, and now you know I was a mess.  I had been struggling with the blister pain for several miles, but Mile 12, the easiest of all as it was primarily all down hill, proved to be the most difficult.  As I continued to take my steps down the hill, my foot kept landing perfectly on the blisters on the bottom of each foot.  There was no way to avoid this, and the sliding in my shoe that also occurred intensified the discomfort.  I definitely know I slowed down on this downward home stretch.

A small incline, a tour around a block, and a nice long stretch of spectators led me to Memorial Stadium and the finish line.  I was finished!  I heard my name announced as I crossed the finish line, as they do with all participants.  Military service men were waiting to place my newly earned medal around my neck.  But honestly, I never looked at my phone to see what time it was until about 10 minutes later.  I snapped a quick picture with my phone and sent it to the few people who were directly keeping tabs on me for the race. 

At this time, the friend who had got me to do the first half marathon responded back wondering my time.  I found the results table, and this is when I knew that I had made this race mine...

4:04:11! 

Not only did I do this race in under 5 hours, I also shattered my previous half marathon time by an entire hour!  I can handle not finishing the race in under 4 hours.  I spent a bit of time taking pictures, hugging people, and cursing the blisters under my feet.  I am more than pleased with my time!  Training was beneficial on so many levels:  speed, endurance, knowledge of my personal needs, and mental stamina.  With all of this in mind, I really did "win" this race (see previous blog post for reference). 

Win the Race

In 23 Hours, I will be setting foot on my next half marathon adventure.  All the countless training walks.  All the bits of jogging.  All the time in the gym.  All the miles.  It all comes down to tomorrow! 

I am already in Seattle.  I pick up my race packet stuff today.  I also plan to look for new shoes, although I will not be wearing them for this race.  I cannot express how excited I am.  Going around with various friends, being introduced to people, and each time, "This is Darlene.  She is doing a half marathon this weekend.  How cool is that!"  And then I realize, WOW!  People are really proud of me for this.  I am excited, but I did not expect to get the excitement from other friends, too.  Even the non-walker/runner, non-competitive types are talking about this with me, and are genuinely interested.

I talked to one of my cousins on my ride to Seattle.  No, I didn't drive, I took the bus.  She told me to win.  HA!  But then I talked to another friend, and she explained winning in a better way.

"You don't have to get first place to win.  You are already winning by doing the race and doing your best.  As long as you feel you did well, you win.  No use competing against anyone but yourself!  With that in mind...Win the race!"

I AM going to WIN the race!

Nay Sayers

I try to be a relatively positive person.  Yes, I have my down days.  There are plenty of days where I feel like the world has taken a giant crap on me.  I try not to feel like that daily though.  One exercise I have for myself is simply remembering the good in a day.  I try to recognize one good thing that happened each day, even if the only good thing is that my cat snuggled me. 

Some days though, the negativity is not within myself.  Some days, the negativity is a gift (lol) given by someone else in their attempts to sabotage my happiness.  There are times that the bearer of such words is doing so in their feeble attempts to be friendly, supportive, or something positive.  Reality is, these words are not always received as such. 

"Are you sure you can go that far?"

"Is this really something smart for you to do?"

"Why would you do something like this?"

YES!  I can go that far, and farther!  YES!  This is something smart for me to do because it means I am taking care of myself!  I do this because I can and it is healthy for me to be active!  Oh, and I do it because I set a goal for myself, challenged myself to do it, and now I am accomplishing that!

I have learned for myself that there are some people I just don't share things with as I am met with more negativity than it is worth.  Those people tend to be the ones who learn about big items in my world after the fact.  I can doubt myself enough without someone else imposing their doubt on me, too.  I suggest to you, if you have nay sayers in your world, share your excitement with them after the fact.  This lets them be proud of you, and allows you to be able to avoid listening to their doubt.

One day, 18 hours, some odd minutes until my last training walk/jog, the Turkey Trot 5K.

Four days, 14 hours, and some odd minutes until I begin my next half marathon.   

Tapering...

Being so close to a race, it is recommended that distance walkers/joggers/runners taper their workouts.  This means that they start slowing down, doing less mileage, and putting less strain on their bodies so that come race day they are fresh and ready for anything.  I am also tapering myself down.

I did a few miles yesterday.  I will do a short 4 mile or so walk on Sunday with Chewy as we are meeting my walking group and only doing a little bit of a walk compared to my typical Sunday.  On Thanksgiving, Chewy is doing a 5k with me that morning before we gorge ourselves on all sorts of tasty treats.  That 5k will also be my last real walk/jog before the race that Sunday.  I am sure I will do some other short walks here and there, but nothing like what I have been doing up to this point. 

Just because I think this is fun, for 2.5 miles of the race, the course will lead me onto the express lanes of Interstate 90.  I guess this is one time I can run/jog in traffic.  No worries, I will manage some pictures while on this adventure.

My Feet Shrank

10 Days, 5 hours, and some odd minutes until race time :)

I did a 4 mile walk/jog today in lovely 36F weather through a gorgeous park in the middle of my city, which also has a wonderful river running through it.  The cold was not so bad, other than helping me realize that I might want a pair of gloves and a hat or ear warmers for the race.  Honestly the only time it got really cold for me was when I saw a parked car that was surrounded by a frozen puddle.  I guess I have really become one of those crazy walker/jogger/runner people who is out there in the freezing cold. 

To round out my adventure today, I figured I should go check out the local running store.  Back in September, I bought myself a pair of running shoes.  They are wonderful, comfortable, and supportive.  One other defining detail:  they are wide width.  Three months later, and they are starting to get a bit loose on the sides, and that is even after I put some mileage down on the pavement and cinching them up tight.  I asked to be fitted, and surprise!  I am no longer a wide width.  Well, at least I am not a wide width in the shoes that I enjoy.  I did not buy new shoes today.  Have you looked at the price of running shoes?!?  $100 is a good start for something decent.  I am hoping to find some sale that is closing out last year's model, or some other sale at a runner's expo.  In the mean time, I will do the half in these shoes, but probably get a thicker sock to make them fit a touch better. 

Two Weeks, One Day...

Two weeks from tomorrow, and I hope that by this time on that day, I will have long crossed that glorious finish line.  Medal proudly worn as I earned that! 

Tomorrow is my last long walk before the race.  This should give me ample time to continue my short walks, and some shorter long walks, yet not completely fatigue myself before the big day.  One thing I will be doing is making sure I am more healthy before going into the race. 

Let's go on a trip back to late August of this year...
I spent one week living as a human test subject in a sleep laboratory for an area university to study effects of fatigue on mental processing. Yes, I got paid for this, and fairly well.  To be honest, this whole experience should just be blogged sometime.  Eating was a huge issue while in this lab.  All things were controlled, down to what we could eat and when.  I have some food allergies and preferences, so I have learned that if I have to let someone else feed me, I am safest by telling that person I eat a vegan diet.  Truthfully, I have a severe dairy and hazelnut allergy, and avoid most meats, but I do eat fish.  So while residing in the laboratory, everyone was fed microwave dinners.  I cook about 85% from scratch, so eating so much processed food for this week was terribly difficult!  I was barely eating.  I am used to whole foods and having fruit and vegetables at every meal.  I can go into the ugly details, but I will spare you.  What I will say is that by the end of this experience, I had a horrible electrolyte imbalance, and would cramp so bad that you could watch my muscles clamp down and contort my legs, down to my feet and toes.  I also had trouble eating.  I needed my whole foods.  I needed more protein.  I needed more produce.  I just couldn't consume enough to be making a total difference right away.  And one week after getting out of the sleep lab, I was doing my first half marathon.  Yes, you can say it.  Even I will say it, "Idiot!"  I swear I do not have a death wish, lol.

This time is different!  I am not doing a sleep study prior to the race.  Eating is no problem when Thanksgiving is just days before the race.  I will not be running at such a horrible nutritional deficit going into the race.  I will not pretend I have some perfect diet, trust me, I love some mac and cheese (well, my vegan version of it) and pizza.  Oh and pasta!  I LOVE pasta!  I will make sure to pay attention to my hydration and electrolyte needs.  And most of all, protein and fresh veggies and fruit will not be forgotten.  I feel that this will help me significantly in my race.

Two weeks one day and counting down... 

I Got My Butt Handed Back to Me...

19 Days and counting until the race in Seattle.  Or 17 days until I am off to Seattle!

Today is a rest day for me.  Nine miles, plus gym and pool time were done on Sunday.  Then a friend asked me if I would like to try Pi-yo with her.  Sure!  I will try anything once, or several times before I give my final vote on it.  We made plans to go to Pi-yo on Monday evening.  No problem.  And look, those new pants I bought the other day were the perfect attire for me to wear and be able to move at this class.
 
Pi-yo had potential.  I thought, okay, so this is a class where you take Pilates and yoga, mesh them together, and spit them back out with faster paced music and quicker movements.  This will be great!  The one time I took a yoga class, I was bored with the silence.  I have taken Pilates before.  It was a better fit than yoga, although a total ab kicker! 

OMG!  Pi-yo is intense!  None of this, sit in silence, meditate, think of your breathing as we hold this pose for some long period of time stuff.  No, this was everything but that!  The warm up started out slow, but quickly picked up the pace where I was beginning to wonder if I had been brought to my sacrifice.  The instructor was wonderful, friendly, and very energetic.  She was so helpful in showing alternative positions for people who may not have the strength yet to pull off some of the moves, or have a physical ailment that prevents them from doing some of them.  Soon I was sweating.  Sweating to the point I had drops fall off of me and land on my yoga mat.  I was pounding the water.  I was in awe!  This yoga/Pilates hybrid disguises itself as something so sweet and innocent, with a touch of intensity.  No, those are lies!  If you knew what a sadistic thing Pi-yo was, you would not be there ready to try it.

If Pi-yo involved walking, or even jogging, I would own that.  Instead it owned me, or more specifically, it owned my butt, abs, and upper body.  I was thankful for some of those alternative positions, but I gave it my all to try doing the real ones.

Pi-yo 1, Darlene 0...  

I totally plan on going back for more!  That was fun, and really was so much more than I expected.

Three Weeks til Show Time!

I have three weeks until the Seattle Half Marathon and WOW! am I getting excited!  My transportation is already booked.  My lodging is getting finalized today.  And because I deserve it, I bought myself a pair of pants today.  They are not every day pants, but they are pants I can wear in the cold to do my walking.  The kicker:  Last time I bought pants for myself, they were a size XXL.  And most everything I am still trying to wear is of that same size range, even though we have talked about how they don't fit.  Today, I bought a size LARGE!  Well, I guess that explains why nothing is fitting, LOL. 

I never really thought I would be so excited to do a road race like I am for this one.  I think part of this excitement stems from setting the goal of doing a half marathon, picking the race, training, watching my progress, and now I feel good!  Really good!  And come December 1st, 2013, I will feel even better because I will have completed my 2nd half marathon :)

Less Than a Month Away

We are in the brisk, cold, wet month of November.  We have already had our first snow here in Eastern Washington.  Actually, we have had snow twice now in my town.  Truth be told, I have never liked the month of November because it is so dark, grey, and dreary.  I know it does not make any sense, but I find it to be the darkest and most dreadful of all the months.  Oh, and I think the birthstone looks like crystallized urine that is disguised by the name Citrine.  But this November is different.  I will love this November!  This month is a count down month for me.  The grand finale will be on December 1st when I take on the Seattle Half Marathon!

I am feeling pretty good about this.  I have done a lot of hill walking as of late because of some personal stuff going on.  Family member in the hospital and the free parking is several blocks away, and of course, uphill.  I have realized that if I compare my walking from back in September to now, I have made some wonderful strides.  I have learned so much about myself, my personal quirks, and also what works for me over the last several weeks.  I would also be lying if I did not mention that I am nervous.

I know I can do a half marathon as was proved in September.  I guess I am nervous with the idea of the weather, which I know is going to be cold, wet, and rainy.  I worry about dressing too heavily to stay warm, and then having to strip during the course to never see my clothes again.  And here is the silly one:  Wet shoes!  I know, I know!  It is December in Seattle, of course my shoes are going to get wet!  I guess that part didn't totally click in my head until the other day when I was walking to an appointment in the slop (rain and snow mix falling from the sky), and my skate shoes were soaked.  Yeah, I will be wet by the end, rain or sweat, lol.

For the most part I am excited!  I get to walk in one of my favorite cities.  I get to add another half marathon to my list that I have done.  I will not be walking in horrible humidity.  I get to see how training has paid off this time around.  I get to have a break from the insanity that has been the last few weeks, and have a me moment.  I get to visit with a few friends in the area.  Did I mention that I get to walk in one of my favorite cities? 

Twenty four days until we add another 13.1 miles to my list! 

October's Mileage

I set a goal for myself of walking 40 miles during the month of October.  I felt that this was a stretch since I had gall bladder surgery at the end of September, and was not going to be cleared to resume full activity status until October 15th.  I came up with the 40 mile goal by adding all my long walk mileage plans together, and factoring in the rest of the short walks.  Surprisingly to me, that 40 mile goal was blown out of the water...

I logged 64.79 miles for the month of October!

I am quite proud of myself.  I know that this month will not have the same mileage, and I am okay with that.  This month will include some longer walks, and many more shorter walks as I will be tapering my walking down towards the end of the month to prepare for The Seattle Half Marathon on December 1st. 

Also part of bragging rights on my end.  I did a 5k at the end of October.  Yeah, I know, for someone who does a 5k several times a week, what makes this one special?  Honestly, the fact that I jogged about half of it.  No, I didn't jog half of it at once.  I broke it up into smaller chunks, but I still jogged.  I was not sore or tired at the end.  Actually, I went to the gym with a friend of mine after the 5k.  It is clear that my walking is paying off in the endurance aspect for me.  I won't say that I plan on jogging the half marathon, yet, but I will get to that place eventually.

How often do you walk?

When people walk with me, the conversation often leads to the question of how much walking I do a day/week.  Honestly, the answer I give is "Some".  My standard formula is that I walk about 2-3 miles minimum, 3-4 days a week, but one of those days must be what I call a Hill Day.  One weekend day is devoted to what I call my Long Walk.  I make sure to rest two days per week.  Let's break down what all this means.

Two to three mile walks are just that.  If I do just 2 to 3 miles, I push my pace to my max and I incorporate jogging into these days.  Consider them speed days.  I also know that I am not a strong runner at this time.  The combination of walking and jogging is smart for me.  I have no guilt over how far I can jog verses walk.  I am trying, and doing better all the time.  

Hill days are routes that I take specifically so that I can work on going up and down hills.  One thing I have noticed is that I try to incorporate some inclines towards the end of my walks so that I can work on them at a tired state as well as while I am fresh.  These walks are usually in the 3-4 mile range, and usually mid pace.  I only dedicate one day a week as a hill day, but that does not mean that walks are always flat the rest of the time. 

My long walks are just as they sound, long.  They are always a minimum of 5 miles.  This past week I have done two long walks, a 7.5 mile on Sunday and an 8 mile on Tuesday.  Typically I only do one long walk per week.  When I first started walking, I kept my walks fairly flat.  Now that I am more accustomed to walking, I keep adding hills to my long walks to better prepare myself for what I will find at various races I will do in the future.  Long walks are also a time for me to work on pacing myself during the long distances.

A word on my work with my pacing and negative split.  This basically means that I walk the first half of my long walk at a slower pace than I walk my second half.  By doing this, I conserve energy to finish strong at the end.  I also do not burn out as quickly as I will not have used up most of my energy at the beginning by starting out too strongly.  Pacing also means that I won't go out strong doing a 12 minute mile to do the next mile at 27 minutes.  Clearly I did something wrong if that happens.   

During my first half marathon I learned a few things.  At Mile 5, bananas are a good boost of energy for me.  So are wild blackberries growing on the side of the road, but I don't have that luxury here at home.  At Mile 8 or 9, I also need a small boost.  From here, as long as I have consistent access to water or some electrolyte drink, I am good to go til the end.  During my long walks, I try to be prepared for these things.  I carry water with me, but typically do not need it until well into Mile 3 or 4.  I bring some sort of fruit and/or goo (the frosting flavored bathtub caulk I mentioned a few posts back) to give me a little boost.  Walking a half marathon at my weight burns an estimated 2,300 calories!  Taking in some calories during the walk helps a person keep going since the body can really only store so much energy before it starts burning other things, like muscle.   

Let it be known though that even on days I do not walk, or even on days that I do, I am still active.  I frequently bike to get places as I am really limited on income so gas is quite the luxury.  I will walk somewhere if I have the time to spend doing so and count that as my walk.  I was invited to join a friend at the gym today, so I swam, did weights, and the elliptical, all after doing a 5k this morning.  I get out with Chewy any help her practice whatever sport she is playing at the moment.  I am not so active that I never sit down, but I do like to get moving when possible.

Mommy Guilt

Parents frequently live with something called guilt.  This evil thought that runs through our head, frequently sabotaging any idea we have to do something for ourselves, all because of how it may take away from the children.  I live with mommy guilt on a daily basis.  How am I ruining Chewy's life by being a single parent?  Am I giving her a good enough childhood while living below the poverty level?  Is going to school really what is best for us when it takes away from her when I have homework?  Is all this walking I do helpful to Chewy?  And this isn't even all of it!  Don't get me started on the guilt I give myself for even just thinking about buying myself a pair of pants that actually fit when really, I should probably be doing something else with the money. 

A friend of mine recently applauded me for spending money on myself.  I paid for my registration for my half marathon in December.  It was a very difficult thing for me to do!  I can still tell you what other things I could have done with the money, and none of them would have been for my own personal desires, needs, or gain.  Actually, I could have bought myself pants that fit and that would have fit in all three of those ideas.  I could have cut a check for the same amount to my personal favorite charity and not thought twice about it.  But to spend that money on myself seemed over the top ridiculous!  My friend reminded me that people spend the same amount monthly on gym memberships, eating out, coffee, and other items; it was about time I did the same for myself.  And that is exactly it:  something for myself.

Many parents still deal with guilt, as I very clearly do.  Making time for yourself is hard!  I will be the first to admit that bedtime in my house is a blessing to me.  I give 110% to Chewy during the day.  When she is in bed, provided the house is still standing, she is not dying, and no fire is present, this is my time to wind down and nurture myself.  When Chewy is at school, this is my time to handle things that take away from her.  Chewy is 11 though, and this makes things much easier than when she was very young.  If only I could have figured out a few things when she was younger, like the fact that I am worth giving myself all the attention I give to others.

Walking is one of those things I give myself.  I have learned that I am a much better parent when I give myself this time.  Chewy is the all-around busy child.  Sports and Robotics are the two top activities she enjoys, which means the Mom Taxi is always going.  One thing I will say is that I do not stay at practices.  If needed I run errands but honestly, most of the time I walk.  I know I have 90 minutes of free time that I can spend sitting at practice not doing anything, or I can move a little and have what I call my meditative time.  Chewy and I come together at the end of practice and talk about our experiences while hurrying home to eat that dinner we both are needing our workouts.       

So to those wondering, how to I tell the parent guilt to go away and make time for me?  You just do, but you do what works for you.  I try to involve my daughter in doing things with me.  Chewy is my partner when doing 5k's and we only do the fun ones like Dirty Dash or Electric Run.  As part of my knee rehabilitation, I did water aerobics and Chewy joined me for that, too.  I do things for myself when she is busy with her own activity.  I really take advantage of the time when she is not at home for a few days.  Most of all, I really try to figure out how to nurture myself.  The more I make this a priority, the less guilt I feel!  I know that at the end of the day, I can give Chewy and the rest of the world a more productive me if I treat myself like I am worth it.

And in case you did not know:  YOU are worth it!  Go nurture yourself today.  It does not have to be anything huge.  Just make sure you do it just for you.

I am not Trying to Lose Weight

It is no secret that I am on the heavy side.  Obese is what medical professionals call it.  Fat is what what media calls it.  Heavy, fluffy, chunky, whatever else you can come up with, kind or not, there is always some sort of descriptor available for the extra padding that helps me float in water and the shape it gives my body.  But I have a secret...

I am not trying to lose weight!

GASP! What?  How can I like myself and be big?  Reality is, and this is something I still struggle with:  My self worth is not dependent on what the scale reads.  I am not claiming to be healthy.  I am not claiming anything.  I am simply saying that I am worth so much more than the number on the scale, or the size of pants I wear. 

I was thin at one point.  Actually, my pants size said I was thin at a size 5.  The scale said I was heavy and could stand to lose weight at 150lbs and 5'6".  I was happy, healthy, active, and had some wonderful muscle mass.  Then my health took a downward spiral.  Prednisone, that horrible steroid given for a multitude of reasons entered my system and 30lbs came on over night.  Pregnancy shortly after getting off prednisone, and who knows how many pounds I gained, but I do know I weighed 222lbs the day I gave birth.  Depression, hormonal issues including PCOS, 8 surgeries that include a hysterectomy, gall bladder removal, and two knee surgeries, and my weight continued to fluctuate.  I went up to 260lbs at my heaviest, and down to 205lbs at my lightest.  Today, I weight 223lbs.

The question I suspect you are asking is, "So if you don't want to lose weight, why do you walk so much?"  It is not that I do not want to lose weight, it is that I am not trying.  What happens happens, and I am happy.  I have lost some weight.  This spring I was up to 250lbs, but before you think it was walking that had me lose all this weight, let me correct you.  I have an allergy to dairy.  I finally pulled my head out of the sand and removed all dairy from my diet.  I lost 20lbs almost instantly.  The rest of the weight loss might be from walking.  I do know I have lost several inches around my body.  My pants no longer fit.  My breasts are large but look larger because my belly is shrinking.  My legs are more toned.  I fit into some clothes that I never imagined I would.  I am still not aiming to lose weight.  I am aiming to be active.  I enjoy walking, and the challenge of walking such long distances.  And most of all, I am walking because I can.  I have been temporarily disabled.  I have been stripped of the ability to walk, and even just bend my knee.  Someday, I will need to have a knee replacement.  Until then, I am going to enjoy my life in an activity that brings me joy, is not harmful to myself or others, is legal, and is healthy! 

Some days I am feeling self depreciating.  But I am trying to remind myself of a text I received after my first half marathon.  I had texted a friend to tell her I was alive and completed the course. 

Me:  "This fat girl did it!"
Friend: "Don't you mean FIT girl!"

This friend reminds me that I am not allowed to self depreciate, but instead, I must remember my obstacles I have overcome to get to the point where I am today.  I think everyone should remember that when they think about themselves. 

My 1st Half Marathon, Recap with Pictures

The day was Monday September 2nd, 2013.  Labor Day in the United States.  At 8:30am, the little red car pulled into Marymoor Park in Redmond, WA for The Labor Day Half and 4 Mile Run/Walk.  Temperature was mild in the upper 60's, but it was certain to heat up to the estimated mid 70's.  Over 1300 people were lining up, stretching, and other last minute pre-race business.  In this group was me:  a little nervous, very excited, and secretly thinking, "Am I really doing this?".

The gun went off at 9am sharp!  Most of this group went running past me, but I was not bothered.  One foot in front of the other.  That was all I really had to do.  My plan was to just keep walking because I knew that the moment I stopped, I would be done.  If you want a small idea of what was going through my head, think Dory from Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming...", but I changed the words to 'Just keep walking', with Dory still singing it. 

Mile 1 was hard, but this is something I always say.  My first mile of anything is always hard.  I call it my warm up, shaking off cobwebs, that sort of thing.  With Mile 1 a thing of the past, I can pick up and go like this is the real start.  Just as we were about to hit Mile 2, there was the turn off for the 4 mile route.  I could have turned there.  Most other people walking around me did turn there.  But no, I kept going forward!  I did not come all this way to chicken out at the last minute.  Mile 3 was also easy.  Remember, I had done a few 5k's over the summer, so walking 3 miles should be easy by now.  Mile 4, still no problem.  And then just before mile 5, I had a boost of confidence by seeing this drive by...
I knew I was doing okay for the simple fact that I was not in the back of the ambulance. 

I keep saying that I was doing great, and this picture proves that. Somewhere in Mile 5, this picture was taken.  I look so smiley and fresh.  Now, remember that post where I said I was an idiot?  Look at the picture again and check out those great sandals I am wearing.  They are also the same sandals I was wearing when I was climbing the slippery rocks to get to the waters of Puget Sound just 2 years prior.  I destroyed my 10 year old tennis shoes at Dirty Dash 6 weeks before the half marathon.  I hadn't gotten around to buying myself new shoes, so I wore my Keens.  Trust me, my Keens are my favorite sandal ever for active adventures.  They also hold up very well for all the abuse I put them through.  That includes the frequent swims the sandals do in the washing machine. 


Mile 6 was nice as I got to see a new side of Redmond, or really wherever in Washington I was at the moment.  In the Seattle area, one typically sees so much city life:  tall skyscrapers, Starbucks, cars galore, traffic jams, pedestrians, taxis, tourist stuff, and another 400 or so Starbucks.  I was seeing farm land!  A grass farm to be exact.  This was my first realization that I had walked a long ways and was still going.  Insert banana for some energy, a bit of water and Nuun for hydration, and away I went!

Mile 7 was a great moment for me.  First of all, the route started to head south which means back towards the starting/finish line.  Secondly, I was more than halfway done!  Third, I was alive, more than halfway done, still walking, and that ambulance from Mile 4 did not have me as a passenger!  But this is also where things got HOT and HUMID!  Walking along the Lake Sammamish Trail was beautiful.  The water running along side me was tempting to jump in or float down as I saw many other people doing.  The heat of the day was blaring down on me.  Estimated mid 70's whatever!  It was mid 80's!  Marsh land makes for horrid humidity!  Mix the two together, garnish with a potential half marathoner, and you have one nasty mix that can cause heat exhaustion and heat stroke.  Being from the hot part of the state was actually in my favor.  I can walk in this heat.  Sadly I saw some people where the heat took them down.

Mile 8 was hot.  Nothing notable other than the goo.  Goo?  What is this you are referring to?  Goo is the gel packet stuff that runners and other distance athletes often consume to give them a shot of energy.  Some of these taste like crap in my opinion.  Sugary, salty, a bit of caffeine (there are some without which is my preference), and a texture of what I imagine caulking for your bathtub would be like if it were on your tongue.  I would not be purchasing it to spread on toast, but it does serve its purpose when needed.  Clif makes a Vanilla flavored goo that I would say was decent.  Sort of like vanilla frosting but without the overly sweet after taste.  I am on a quest to find a more natural goo that contains real ingredients but is still non-caffeinated.  If anyone has suggestions, please let me know! 

Miles 9 and 10...oh how I loathed you!  This was the point where I started to really wonder, "Are we there yet?"  These were the longest miles ever, even longer than the first mile.  Just before Mile 11, I saw a ray of light:  these fish...    

I saw this piece of art back in Mile 3 and remembered liking them.  Seeing them now reminded me how close I was to the end.  I can do this!  At this point, The Wall, as frequently mentioned by seasoned marathoners, crumbled away!  I was going to finish this race.  Just keep walking!

 

And here I am, still walking, in the middle of Mile 11.  Yes, it was hot, and no, there was barely any shade.  I kept going.  Nothing was going to stop me now.  I was too close!  I could feel the weight of the medal around my neck that I would earn in just a short walk.  At this point, if I had suffered an injury or heat exhaustion, I would still roll the rest of the way through the race just to finish!  Luckily, it was my own two feet that carried me the rest of the way.


I DID IT!  Done!  Medal earned.  Bragging rights earned.  Self confidence through the roof!  I was so incredibly proud of myself for completing the half marathon.  I didn't run.  I didn't have some stellar record breaking time.  But at the end of the day I can say, "I am a half marathoner."

And now, let's talk about my Keens again.  Two year old sandals, half a size too big, worn near daily, and still, I came out with only ONE blister after walking 13.1 miles in them.  I swear that I do not work for Keen, nor do I get any money or product for mentioning them here, but I really do love my sandals!  I still wear them several times a week, and this includes training walks that I am doing for my next half marathon.  For the record, I do own tennis shoes now which I have broken in and will wear next time.

Why would anyone walk or run 13.1 miles?

The question I have gotten many times since I did my first half marathon in September is, "Why would anyone walk or run 13.1 miles?"  I cannot answer for anyone else, but I can give you my answer:

It's FUN!  While that really is a big part of the answer for me, there is so much more to it as well.  For starters, doing a half marathon was a way for me to reclaim my mobility.  As you saw in the previous post, I had knee surgery in March 2011.  I will spare you the gory details but am willing to talk about it to anyone who asks.  This also includes sharing a picture of all the staples that made the zipper on my leg.

Meet knee hardware.  It is not pretty.

When you have a broken bone in your leg, especially your tibia (the bigger of the two bones in your lower leg), the doctors will ask that you be non-weight baring.  I willingly requested my leg to be broken (that is how the surgery is done).  For 2 months I was in a brace from the top of my thigh to the bottom of my ankle, locked completely straight the entire time.  I even had to sleep in this contraption.  The only times I could take the brace off were when I showered and during physical therapy (PT).  During PT, I was able to bend my knee with assistance only.  Two long months of 3 times a week physical therapy, with two days of that in the pool, but by mid-May, I took my first steps.  Relearning how to walk was difficult at first.  Those muscles were so weak from not being truly used.  The pain where those screws are in my bone was excruciating.  But I was persistent.  I wanted to walk.  I NEEDED to walk.  I knew that running would not be something I could try for at least 6 months, and really, I was perfectly fine with that.  I just wanted to be functional again.  I wanted to walk, step off a curb, climb stairs, stand in the shower, and be fully functional on my own accord. 

Then on vacation in August 2011, I realized just how far I had come!  This is the Puget Sound in the background.  I wanted down by the water, and to get there I needed to climb over several rocks.  I don't know how many as it was a good drop from the sidewalk to the water level, and all that was there were rocks to navigate.

If you had told me in March of that same year that I would be navigating slippery rocks by the end of summer, I would have laughed in your face.  Here I was though!  Minimal pain, and even the fatigue wasn't getting me down, unless I was pushing it too far.  It was at this time, I figured why not try a half marathon.  Walking was already a major mode of transportation for me.  I set a goal for the end of May 2012 to do one local to me.  Truth be told, I started training, but life got in the way, I got a bit very lazy, and just quit. 

Fast forward to August 2013...
I went out to lunch with an old friend.  She had always been one to push and motivate me, but I had no idea that the same effect would be there 18 years later.  We talked about different things we were up to, and she mentioned that she had been doing half marathons.  I explained how after surgery I wanted to do one, and still do, just never got off my butt and did it.  She said that there was one coming in two weeks and I should do it.  I laughed her off.  I had done three 5ks during the summer, but 3 miles is not the same as 13.1.  We continued lunch, but she told me to think on it.  She also mentioned that if I really did want to do one in the future, she was offering to do it with me.  

The following weekend we ended up meeting for dinner.  The topic of the half marathon came up again, but now, the one she was suggesting was a week away.  This time, I was slightly receptive to the idea of trying this the following weekend.  I also had made a personal promise that on December 1st, 2013, I would be doing a half marathon.  Dinner ended and I committed myself, and to her, that I would be ready for December.  But by mid-week, I made the decision that I was going to try for the half marathon that weekend.  What did I have to lose?  No one said it had to be pretty.  No one said I was trying to win.  No one said I had to actually run or even jog.  And this could be called my base line:  my first half marathon and with zero training*. 

*Disclaimer:  I am an idiot!  I am also one of those who likes to go big or not at all.  Do not ever attempt a long endurance race, even if you are just walking, without proper training, and this includes nutrition and hydration.  I am not a professional, but I can use common sense to say that this is a potentially bad idea.

So who am I?

I know, here you are, reading yet another blog written by some faceless internet writer who thinks they have a story to share.  Maybe you actually know me in real life.  Maybe you got here because you saw a link.  Regardless, thank you for stopping by!  Now let me introduce myself.

My name is Darlene.  While my name means "darling" in Old English, I am more fiery and passionate, with a tendency to speak my mind.  I am a single mom to a daughter who is my pride and joy:  11 years old, active in sports, music, and robotics, loves animals, and really will go farther than I can even begin to imagine.  I will refer to her in this blog as Chewy as this was a nickname given to her from one of her sport's teams.  As for me, I am in my mid 30's, struggling to go back to school to finish my bachelor's degrees, and lover of sports, food, and travel.  I have experienced some major health issues in my life that affect me today, but I will not let them slow me down.  With that, lets talk the dirty stuff...

This is me at 18 years old.  Thin, 150lbs to be exact, but with this crazy idea that I was the biggest thing to ever walk the earth.  

And here I am again, but at 31 years old, 260lbs, and just out of surgery to reconstruct my knee.  This is me at my biggest, and well, I look like crap too, but really, who doesn't after surgery. 

Here I am on September 2nd, 2013, at 33 years old, 235lbs, and with a half marathon finisher medal around my neck.  That is my best friend next to me who also did the race.  This was my first half marathon, of many more to come. 

I know what you are saying, WHAT?  Half Marathon!  You mean, 13 miles, and SHE did that?!?  Well, actually, it is 13.1 miles because let me tell you, that .1 of a mile so counts, especially at the end of race.  And yes, I really did do it!  To top it off, I am also doing another one in December, and if all goes as desired, I am hoping to do one in March 2014 as a birthday present to myself.

Now that you know a little bit about me and I am no longer another faceless internet blogger, let's get on with talking about how I ended up doing a half marathon...

Welcome

Welcome to this blog as I chronicle my adventures into walking and jogging.  I will start off by saying a few things: 

1.)  I am not a medical professional, nor am I a certified trainer.  I will not give advice outside of the realm of my own expertise, which is nothing.  I am full of encouragement though, and willing to listen.

2.)  This is my experience which is unique to me.  I will share pictures, triumphs, and losses.  I am also very open book, so willing to answer most any question put out there. 

3.)  I do my best, but sometimes, I let off a good F-bomb.

4.)  I am not thin as you will see in future posts that will include pictures.  I am not some super healthy person.  I definitely do not eat right.  I am not even out to be losing weight.  I am out to be active, which for me means walking and a bit of jogging to my level of enjoyment.

5.)  And this is my only real advice I give people:  Who cares how slow you are!  If you are up and going, you are already doing more than you were yesterday.  Put one step in front of the other, and just do it.  A walk around the block is much better than that full pint of ice cream in your freezer.  Well, that is until you get home from the walk ;)